License To Kill II: Einstein
by Leonora Chris
Summary: Yet another story of the time when Margaret Eppes was dying and after she did. Why Charlie got lost in his numbers and how the people around him reacted. What about the mother herself? How did she see it? Did she really understand, like Alan later said? Also, little hints of a secret life Charlie has been living, without anyone knowing. Pre-series.


_**(I don't own NUMB3RS or the characters etc from it, only the story is mine.)**_

**So this is part two of the series and also my first Numb3rs story. Another oneshot, but this one I'm writing differently than the last one.  
**

**In this story no one is perfect or without faults. Anyone claiming that would be lying. And the story isn't happy either or trying to make anyone seem like some 'perfect snowflake' or anything. The point is that there are many past issues in their family and now they are all dealing with this situation in their own way. The best way, only way, they know how to. While at this point they are not that strong as a family and their way of dealing with the situation may not be what the other two would understand and do, they still do love each other very much.**

_**Leo**_

* * *

Charlie Eppes opened the door and stepped inside as quietly as he could. It was in the middle of the night so it was dark inside the house. The silence scared him and for a moment he feared that while he'd been gone, it had happened. His mother was dead. The very thought of that and the memory of his mother's precious and frail form laying on the bed for weeks now was enough to make the numbers in his head try to take over again. Whispering to him. Angry when he forced himself free from their strong hold. For a moment at least.

He was scared. Scared to the point where he was hanging on a very small thread of sanity that kept him from turning into raving maniac. People didn't understand that being born genius was not all joy and fun. It was more than just a blessing. It was a curse. The coin always had two sides. Something most people seemed to either forget or simply ignore.

His father and brother didn't understand. They couldn't understand that it was out of his hands. That his behaviour wasn't because he wanted to be away from his mother. They couldn't understand that if he wouldn't be writing the numbers down, getting them out of his head, he would go with his mother. That he had to try to find the answer. That if he couldn't find the answer, what good would his 'gift' be then? He was too weak to be able to fight it. While his body may or may not survive, his mind surely wouldn't. Only his mother understood the way his mind worked and with her gone, who would?

He didn't see things the way people usually would. The world to him was literally endless flow of numbers and equations. His mind didn't get rest from it even in his sleep. Even his dreams were filled with numbers, one way or another.

Glancing over his shoulder, he almost went back in the garage and it took every ounce of his willpower to walk away. He needed to see his mother. Just once. To make sure she still was okay with this. That she didn't see the son she had spent so much time with. Raising him to be something great. All those big dreams and plans she'd had for him since he was barely three years old. All planned out for him and now she was never going to be there for any of them.

Silently, like a ghost in the night or a shadow, he made it through the darkness towards the bedroom where his mother was. He almost changed his mind again, seeing his father sleeping there next to his beloved wife. At least Don was sleeping in his childhood bedroom.

Small lamp was giving some light in the room and Charlie was on the verge of tears when he saw his mother. He thought he could do this, but now he wasn't so sure. Seeing her... She looked so much worse than last time... When was it anyway? His sense of time was shot through the door and towards the moon. It could very well be centuries for all he knew. It certainly felt like it. It was ironic that while numbers where everything he was, he had completely lost his sense of time.

He was about to turn around and flee when soft voice stopped him. "Charlie..?"

"Mom... I... I thought you were sleeping..." Charlie swallowed. As weak as she was she still was smiling at him. She was still... she was still being mom. His best friend. His only friend for most his life. His guide and advisor. The one he always turned to whenever he was unsure of things outside math. The one who always made sure he took care of himself. The one who... _God_... He couldn't deal with life without her...

"Come here..." Margaret frowned as she studied her youngest. She didn't like what she saw. The boy looked like he belonged in deathbed himself. Why hadn't Alan and Don told her? Of course she could see the 'why', but it still upset her.

"Dad..." Charlie points towards his father who was snoring next to her.

"Don't worry about your father... He's been awake for days... Nothing's going to wake him up now... Come..."

At first he took few tentative steps like a small child walking for the first time, but when his mother held her arms towards him, despite how weak she was, he ran and fell on his knees next to the bed. With his head on the bed next to her, he started crying.

Margaret shed few tears of her own as he kept brushing her fingers through those soft curls she loved so much. After a while even her willpower couldn't get her to move her hand anymore so she just held it there. Seeing the state her little genius was in, she felt fear flood in her heart. She had already made peace with dying, but now... With her gone, who would look after Charlie? Who would make sure he didn't join her?

"Oh baby..." She whispered and Charlie turned his head so that his cheek was resting against the bed and his eyes stared at his mother brokenly.

"Mom..." He whispered in a child like voice and Margaret felt a whole new heartache fill her mother's heart.

"It'll be alright..."

"I'm scared..." Charlie sobs. Now, away from the safety of his garage, the reality was starting to crash on him again and the numbers were back. It made him dizzy. Or perhaps it had something to do with the fact that he hadn't been eating for, God only knows how, long time.

"I know... I know, but Charlie... You have Donnie and dad."

"Not same..."

Margaret frowned again. She could see her son was struggling. Struggling to the point where the look on his face looked pained. Smiling sadly, she realized what it had taken from Charlie to leave the garage and come to her. She didn't like it, but she understood. "Charlie... Charlie, baby... It's okay... I understand..."

Charlie frowned and started crying again. "I'm weak... I'm sorry mom..."

"Nonsense..."

"It's true... Don is always so strong and I am... I'm such a..."

"Stop that... Now... Do your mother a favor... Eat something and try to get some sleep... I will explain your situation to your dad and brother."

Standing up, Charlie was struggling between wanting to stay and not being able to handle this. Wrapping his arms around her frail body, he hugged her. "I love you mom..."

"I love you too, baby..."

Giving a kiss on her forehead and with last glance at the door, he left. Remembering her words, he made a sandwich in the kitchen and ate it in the darkness without any appetite. As far as even tasting the food in his mouth went, he might have as well been eating cardboard.

Back in the garage, he was soon back in the world of his own. Surrounded by his numbers. The only thing which made sense to him. People... Life... He couldn't handle any of those. Not that he had much practise since numbers were all he had ever been his whole life...

Margaret lay awake for a little while. Fighting the sleep. She worried that Alan and Don would not understand and she had no way of trying to describe their youngest to them. Perhaps she had made a mistake by taking it all on herself. Maybe if she had allowed Alan to take bigger role in raising Charlie, he would have better understanding how the mind of their genius worked and reacted in different situations. Maybe if she had let the brothers grow together more like normal brothers, they wouldn't now be like complete strangers. Maybe if she hadn't sheltered Charlie too much from the cruelty of the world, he would be able to deal better with her dying...

For the first time, Margaret felt deep regret and doubt over her many choices through life, but it was now too late. "Dear Lord... Give my boys strength... understanding and forgiveness... and comfort... when I'm gone..."

* * *

"Come on, Charlie! Mom's dying! How can you do this to her!? To us! We need you!" Don screamed, but as usual his words never got through the wall of numbers between him and his little brother, who had dazed and feverish look in his eyes, never stopping writing down his equations. Those damned numbers which seemed to be having almost like some sort of devilish hold on his brother.

Covered in chalk dust and his clothes hanging loosely over his skin and bones body, it had been days since Charlie's secret timeout with their mother.

"Charlie... _Please_..." Don felt like crying. It was like watching a contest. Who would drop dead first? Their mother or Charlie who was literally killing himself in the garage.

Taking a hold of the small shoulders, he turned Charlie around and pushed him harshly against one of the blackboards. Shaking him, he was screaming again. "How can you be so selfish!?"

Charlie's glazed eyes kept looking frantically around the room, but not once looking at Don.

"Charlie! Look at me!"

Trying without success to shake some sense into his brother, Don finally let go and watched in disgust as he was back to writing. "Mom needs you. If she dies and you weren't there for her... That's what you want to live with rest of your life?"

As if he was going to get an answer. Don shook his head again. "I don't care anymore. I wash my hands from this. I won't be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, Charlie. When that day comes, I hope you realize that you did it to yourself. That _you_ made that happen."

Leaving the garage in fury, Don never heard the hitch in breath. Never saw the hand holding the chalk hovering over the blackboard. Never saw the trembling shoulders and lonely tear escaping the prison it had been kept in.

"Donnie..." Charlie whispered. The sound of a phone ringing in the quiet room startled him and without really even realizing it, he moved to where he had left it and read the name on the screen. '_JamesB_'.

Wiping away the tear, as if the caller could see it, Charlie spoke in the phone with a voice that was odd mixture of monotone and broken. "Roger... I can't talk right now..."

_"Heyyy... Einstein! Boss called us. Didn't you read the text? You didn't show up and I started worrying..."_

Charlie frowned, annoyed when the man wouldn't stop talking. This was disturbing his flow of thoughts. "I haven't been reading any texts..."

_"...Hey... You know you can trust me... Your secrets are safe with me... What's wrong?"_

Charlie stared at the wall in front of his eyes.

_"Are you still there?"_

"My mom..."

_"How is she? It's been years since I saw her."_

"...She's dying..."

_"...I'm... I'm sorry..."_

"It's not your fault..."

Roger snapped. _"And neither is it yours. I know you. Please tell me you're not doing the P versus NP again."_

Silence was the answer he got and he swore quietly. _"Einstein... You promised me..."_

"Sorry..."

_"Alright. That does it. I'm coming over. I'll let the boss know where he can stick the work. Another one up there won't make a difference."_

"No! I'm fine. Really."

_"I can see I've been rubbing off on you... You're obviously not fine... Let me help."_

"I have my family here..."

There was uncomfortable silence. Family was after all taboo subject for the other man. Normally Charlie would be feeling terribly guilty, but this time he was only barely there, among the living, to even acknowledge it.

_"Alright... Listen. I can handle this job on my own. It's simple enough this time. The boss doesn't have to know. You take care of your mother and yourself. I'll call you once the work's done. Okay? Promise to try and snap out of it by then."_

"Okay..."

_"Attaboy..."_

Ending the call, Charlie stares at the blackboards. His brains had already erased any memory of the phone call. The numbers were calling him again and without any understanding of when and how, he was again back to work.

* * *

The day it finally happened, he knew it before anyone told him. It was like he could feel it in his body. Like part of his heart and soul had been ripped away from him, making him feel incomplete. Out of place and balance. Lost.

It was early in the morning and the sun had just started raising when Charlie finally put down the piece of chalk. His numbers had calmed down suddenly as pure dread started filling him. He heard someone walking closer to the door with heavy steps. Stopping and obviously hesitating whether to come in or not. He kept his eyes on the door. Praying in his mind silently. _'Don't come... Please don't... If you do, then I know...'_

Slowly the door was opened and Don stepped inside. Looking unsure how to be and what to say. He hadn't been in the garage since the time when his fury nearly turned into violence against his own brother. Had been too scared to come. Scared of his own temper mixed with worry and scared of seeing how much worse the young man would look since the last time.

He looked at his little brother who just stood there. Staring at him with clear yet pain stricken eyes. For a moment Don paled, seeing how much more weight Charlie had lost again and he wondered how he was even standing. In a moment of anger he wondered why their dad who had been bringing Charlie something to eat and drink every day, hadn't told him how bad it was.

"She's gone, isn't she?" Charlie spoke with a small voice and Don swallowed hard. Not allowing himself to cry. He knew he had to be the strong one in this family. Despite his mother's _'it's okay to cry sometimes'_ advice.

"Yes Charlie. Few minutes ago."

"Oh..." Charlie stared at Don and then at his chalk covered hands. As if unsure what to do with them.

"I could feel it... The moment she was gone, she took me with her..." He spoke softly and looked at Don again, with wide eyes.

Don felt like someone had punched him in the gut. Hoping Charlie wasn't thinking about doing anything stupid. That would be the death strike for this family. "Charlie... Buddy..."

"She left and now there's a hole in me, Donnie... I feel... I don't..." Charlie furrowed his brows and looks at his hands again before looking Don in the eyes first time since... forever.

"She's gone, isn't she?"

Don, forgetting for a moment his own grief, blinks and feels concerned. What little color there had been on Charlie's face, was gone. He looked like a corpse, standing there.

"Yes, buddy. She's gone..."

"Oh..." Charlie brushed his left hand over his head.

"Donnie..."

"Yes?"

"Do you think mom would like if I'd show her what I've been working on?"

"Buddy..."

"I made huge progress you know. Big leap actually. I'm so close to solving it. I have to show it to her." Charlie turned around and started gathering his notebooks and papers, scattered all over the garage. All filled with numbers and equations he had copied from the blackboards. His shoulders were trembling and he refused to look at his brother again, but then suddenly Don was there and he had his arms around Charlie and no amount of struggling got him out of the hold of his big FBI brother and he had already let himself go weak and sick from starvation alone.

"Let me go, Don... I-I... I need to... Need to make sure I ha-haven't missed anything..."

"Charlie... Mom's gone... She's dead..."

Charlie ignored the words and forced himself to focus on his numbers, but for some reason they were out of his reach. His mind was a mass of chaos. Like a bomb which was about to go off. All the emotions which had been kept locked away.

"Let me go!" He snapped and started struggling for real, but the arms around him didn't move.

"It's okay, buddy... I'm here..." Don whispered in Charlie's ear as he forced his brother to sit on the floor with him. Not once letting go.

"No... No, no, NO! You can't do this! I-I have to... I..." Charlie was gasping for breath as the panic finally reached him.

"Mom said she loves us... loves you... She didn't want to leave us, buddy. But it was her time... She had suffered enough..." Don felt sick for speaking out their mother's words _'it was her time'_. In reality he wanted to scream_ 'No! There's no way it's her time!'_

Charlie struggled until he went limp. For a moment Don though he had passed out, but then after a moment of silence, a low wailing sound filled the garage and in few seconds the wailing was loud and not only heart breaking, but also ear-splitting. Still, Don only held him stronger in a grip which would leave few bruises. While he still refused to cry, he needed this just as much as his brother. "Shhh... It'll be alright, buddy..."

"NO!"

"Just let it out..." Don's voice was trembling and if possible, the wailing only grew louder.

Inside the house, in their bedroom where she still lay, Alan heard it and he started crying even more. To the very last breath, he had held on to hope that maybe they would be granted a miracle. Charlie hadn't been the only one living in denial. While he had let everyone else to think that he had come to accept the situation, in reality he had never let go of hope. With his wife gone, how was he going to keep going?

* * *

The day of the funeral was stormy, grey and rainy. As if the heaven itself was angry with the world. The small group of people standing at the colorful grave took their time before joining the ones who already left. The father and sons didn't even care that they were getting wet in the heavy rain. If anything, it felt refreshing and it would hide any tears.

Despite the situation, Alan couldn't help but feel proud of his two sons. Don had proven how strong he could be. Holding them all together when he as a father should've been there for his boys. Charlie... Despite the fact that his youngest had passed out twice, in the car on the way to the funeral and few minutes before it was time to carry the coffin, he had pulled out some hidden strength from him and he had refused to let anyone take his place carrying it. He had succeeded and was now looking like he was about to pass out for the third time today.

"Whoa..." Don took hold of his brother when he was starting to fall when the strong wind hit them again. Taking hold of Charlie, he forced himself to ignore how small he was and how he could most likely carry him around like a small child.

"Let's go home and get some food in you, buddy..." Charlie shuddered at the thought and allowed himself to be taken to their car.

After last of the people had gone, young man walked slowly to the grave. Wearing all black designer outfit. His right hand was holding black umbrella, but in his left was bright yellow and white flowers. He stood awkwardly at the grave and kneeled down to hide his flowers under all the others.

"I don't know if you remember me... I'm your son's... uh... Work partner. I only met you once, but I could tell you were a good woman even without your son bragging about what an amazing mother he has... You left behind many people, Margaret... Wherever you now are, I wonder if your son's secrets are finally open to you and what you think of his other life... He's not even thirty yet and has already made it far in life. It's what you always wanted for him. I only hope it's what you would approve... I know I can't always keep him away from the dangerous situations, but I will give you my word that I will do everything in my power to keep him safe..." He chewed his lip for a moment and then stood up.

"I hope you like the flowers. I wasn't sure what to bring... Rest in peace, Margaret..." Glancing around if anyone had seen him, the young man left and other than the flowers, there wasn't any proof he had ever been there.

Back at the Eppes home, the brothers and father finally made it home and after changing their clothes, they went to spend some time with their guests. All who wished to either shake their hands, hug or let them know how sorry they were for their loss. Empty words which didn't mean a thing for the three men, but they remained polite and even tried to join the conversations, without much success.

Later that night, after last guest had left, Alan stood in the living room. Staring at the emptiness that was screaming at him.

"Dad..?" Don spoke softly, but they both knew what he really was saying. _'Are you alright? Is there anything I can do?'_

"I... uh... I'd like to be alone for some time..."

Don looks worried, but doesn't stop him when Alan slowly disappears in 'their' bedroom. Closing the door after him. Whatever was happening behind that door was private and Don wasn't going to intervene. They all were going to need times like these for a very long time.

Looking around the room he started slowly gathering up the empty glasses and paper plates in the house. In the kitchen, seeing his mother's photograph which either Alan or Charlie had to have been looking at in there, Don bursts into tears. Holding the picture, he slowly slides down on the floor. Sobbing silently.

"Donnie..?" Quiet voice startled Don and he looks up, seeing his brother staring at him with worried eyes. _God... He looks a mess, yet he's worrying about his brother... The one who left his family for such a long time..._

"I'm okay, buddy..." Don swallowed and wiped the tears away.

"No, you're not. It's okay to cry, Donnie..."

Don swallows hard, hearing his mother's last words to him from his little brother and he snaps. "Shut up. What do you know?"

Charlie flinched, but didn't say anything. Feeling he deserved the anger. Instead he glanced around the kitchen, spotting the remains of the cake there. "Um... I know none of us ate anything... Maybe we could... Uh... Call dad and then we could..."

"I'm not hungry, Charlie! How can you even think about food right now!" Don exploded.

"Sorry..."

"Three months, Charlie! Not once were you there! Instead you chose that little bubble of yours and let dad and I to deal with it! We needed you! She needed you! I needed you! I know you don't exactly know anything about the real world, but for once in your life you could've at least _tried_!"

Looking up again and seeing the lost look his brother gave him, for some reason he got only angrier. "Say something! Did you now decide to lose the ability to talk as well!?"

"I'm sorry..." Charlie mumbled and left the room.

Hitting his head against the wall, Don sighs. Looking at the photograph in his hands, he curses softly. "Oh man..."

Getting up, he rushes after Charlie. "Charlie!"

"...I'm sorry for calling you like this... Could you... Could you... Uh..." Charlie's soft words and tears on his face stopped Don and he felt stab of pain in his heart. Why did he keep taking it all out on the one he loved the most?

Charlie held the phone in his trembling hand as he was talking to someone. "I really need some time to... Yeah... You would... You are..? Could you come and get me then..? I understand if you can't... Really..? I'll... I'll get out then... Roger... Thank you..."

"You're going somewhere, buddy?"

Charlie jumped, startled, hitting his back on the wall, making Don flinch.

"I'm sorry..." He watched as Charlie picked up his coat and put it on. Not once looking at him in the eyes.

"Where are you going?"

"A friend... I'll... Uh... Don't worry... I'll call dad later and let him know..."

"How long?" Don cringed at the sound of that. He was sounding like a mother... _Mother_...

"I mean... So I know when to get things ready... I thought us three could spend some time together... Maybe talk and... Eat that cake..."

Charlie just stared at his feet. "I'll call..."

"Charlie!" Don yelled after him, but his brother was already gone, running outside in the pouring rain. Following after him, Don barely got a glimpse of a car waiting for him, leaving him stare after the lights before the dark weather hid it from him. Worrying, but hoping that this friend would look after Charlie, Don went back inside and decided to clean up all the remainders of the funeral and guests. By the time he was finished, it was already dark, but not because of the weather.

Alan was still in the bedroom and Charlie hadn't returned so Don found himself standing in the one room he had come to hate almost as much as the illness that took his mother away from them. The garage looked like the storm from the outside had gone through it. All the blackboards were scattered around the room, mostly on the floor. Most of them were broken and after a while Don noticed a hammer laying over one of them.

"Oh man..." Don found himself wondering when had his brother managed to do that, without any of them noticing or hearing anything. His next action surprised even him as he started cleaning up the room and even planning on buying new blackboards. Knowing how much this room meant for his brother. Not understanding it, but knowing and right now that was all that mattered to him.

It took a month before Charlie returned. Other than one phone call for Alan, they hadn't heard a word from him. He looked healthier, had put on some weight and he was back to work few days later. The last few months remained taboo subject for all the three men for a long time.

Then the day came, when Don got first hand evidence that his genius little brother's useless math was anything but useless. And they started working together. Spending more and more time together. Both for work and for no reason. While there remained unsolved issues between the two of them for a long time, their relationship kept growing.

Every once in a while Alan found himself looking at the two of them and smiling. "You would be so proud of our boys now, Margaret..."

_**The End.**_


End file.
